Monday, December 11, 2006

William Nicholson, "Christmas Drinks Party"

RILEY. What I resent about Christmas is the general presumption of good will. I feel no good will towards my fellow men. I feel ill will.

LEWIS. It's got nothing to do with how you feel, Christopher. Feelings are far too unreliable.

RILEY. Maybe so, Jack, but they're very close to me. I'm very attached to my feelings. I won't hear a word against them. They're easily hurt.

HARRINGTON. I'm afraid Christmas is something of a lost cause, Jack.

LEWIS. That depends on how it's presented. If you tell people it's about peace in the world, and being kind to the poor and needy, then naturally nobody listens.

RILEY. Aha, the archcommunicator in action! Give us the sales pitch, Jack.

LEWIS. "Virgin Has Sex with Omnipotent Alien – Gives Birth To God."

RILEY. I've always thought the incarnation proves that God has a severely limited intellect. Who'd choose, voluntarily, to be human, when you have the option of staying safely divine?

LEWIS. Think of the magic, Christopher. The birth of a helpless, squealing creature who is also God. An all-powerful baby. Doesn't that satisfy your taste for the peculiar? It's the coming of new life in the heart of winter, when all the land is dead. The snow falls, and the trees are bare. All but one tree, which bears fruit. That's real magic.

from "Shadowlands"
by William Nicholson